The Iceberg Model Explained

When we look at family conflict, we often only see what's on the surface—like a harsh word, a silent dinner, or an emotional outburst. But like an iceberg, much more lies beneath. The Iceberg Model helps us understand that behavior is just the tip. Underneath are values, assumptions, beliefs, emotions, and generational wounds.

At Hayasani, we use this model to guide conversations toward what really needs to be seen and heard. By visualising the layers beneath the surface, families can stop reacting to symptoms and start responding to deeper truths. It helps individuals understand where their defensiveness comes from, why certain topics trigger strong emotions, and how inherited stories might be shaping their current dynamics.

When we stop reacting to what we see and start exploring what lies beneath, we create space for empathy, growth, and true intergenerational healing. This model becomes a powerful map—not just of what’s broken, but of what’s possible.